When I look at my daily operating system, I attempt to look at myself as clearly as possible. I try to think of my interaction and what effect I have caused good or bad. I tend to focus on the things that have gone to the negative much more than the postive because I want to affect change on the negative and keep the positive untouched. A life unexamined and all that.
Sadly, I often process information orally. This means I tend to process out loud. This must come at a cost to my wife, friends, and coworkers. So, when I am left behind or ghosted or just not invited…I get it. It hurts, but I get it.
I can exhaust me, too.
But, really, it’s probably time to focus in the positive stuff.
I don’t like a lot of things that other people seem to enjoy. A short list:
Any public gatherings “downtown”.
Watching small children opening presents (one noteable exception).
However, I do like doing things others don’t seem to enjoy:
I am comfortable where most are uncomfortable. And vice versa.
This is the work.
If I only stay in my comfort zone of artistic risk and work and focused storytelling, I am undeveloped elsewhere. When my friendships are attached to the work, it becomes apparent that maybe I don’t know how to be a run of the mill friend. Also, my weight, my right knee, my broken toe, and lower back are a testament to how I have not pushed my comfort level.
See? Just thinking out loud again.